Much of this has to do with our busy lifestyles. By the time most New Yorkers finish their work and social obligations, there is very little time to meet people. The more successful you are, the less time you probably have.
In addition, most of us tend to find ourselves repeating the same daily routine over and over. Unless you are someone who feels comfortable striking up conversations with complete strangers (Which doesn’t always work out well in NYC!), you probably aren’t interacting with many new people each day.
Matchmakers advertise themselves as creating the following solutions for their clients:
If you have the financial means, the benefits described above might seem like a no brainer. But once you dig a little deeper, things aren’t quite as great as they seem.
Matchmakers may take the task of finding dates out of your hands, but are you willing to pay 10, 20, 30, 40, or in some cases 50 thousand dollars for a membership? These are the going rates for these agencies.
A little known fact about NYC agencies is that they usually provide just a few dates (3-5) over the course of 6 months or more. That comes to several thousands dollars per date, and in some cases, over 10,000 dollars per date.
Matchmaking agencies will show you pictures of dozens of “clients” that they can set you up with. And they will always tell you that they have the perfect person in mind.
The reality is, this is usually a bait and switch. Their number one priority is getting you to make the investment as quickly as possible whether they have matches or not.
Whether you pay $10,000 for a membership or $50,000 dollars for a membership, that doesn’t change the fact that if an agency doesn’t have enough clientele, than they can’t provide you with the type of matches you are seeking.
Many people over the years have confided to me that they believe their agencies set them up with “hired guns” instead of actual dates. Although I have no hard evidence, I’ve heard whispers about this for years from inside sources as well as clients from their agencies.
According to most former matchmaking clients that I have spoken with, once they signed up, the contact dissipated tremendously. The natural instinct of the agency once they have your money is to fade off in the background, ignore your phone calls as much as possible, and to keep promising that a new match is on the horizon.
The idea is to keep you off their back until you run out of energy and just give up complaining.
Shows like millionaire matchmaker seem great. You may even wind up in a fancy office. But it’s mostly a come on. After your initial meeting, you’re back to your daily life with little to no interaction with your matchmaker aside from an occasional phone call or rare meeting.
You can’t fight progress. When it really comes down to it, matchmaking agencies don’t mesh with today’s world. Today’s world is technology driven and that’s the dominant way people meet.
Odds are you’ve never known someone who met through a matchmaker and never will. But odds are you’ve probably met a whole lot of couples who met online!
It’s bad enough feeling frustrated about being single. But it’s an even worse to feel frustrated about being single and also feel ripped off and taken. Don’t let a matchmaker sell you a false bill of goods about future happiness that they can’t deliver on for all the reasons listed above.
This is why I invented Next Evolution Matchmaking, a company that combines online dating with traditional matchmaking to provide successful professionals with the one on one high end service they deserve, and more importantly, the quality relationships they seek.