Online Dating Email Examples for Men & Women

Online Dating Email Examples

An Email Writing Tutorial from NEM Founder, Joshua Pompey

Here at Next Evolution Matchmaking, it is our job to attract the highest quality singles online for our clients.  This task requires our emails to be absolutely flawless at all times.


So how do we go about the process of writing emails that will attract our clients the best possible dates?  Our methods combine nearly a decade of online dating experience, with a thorough understanding of how men and women think online.  In this discussion, I am going to show you an online dating email example that is filled with common mistakes many online daters make, and transform it into an email that will gain the attention of the type of men and women you do want to attract.

Let’s Start With an Online Dating

Email Example that Would Never Work

Subject:  Hey


Hey there.  I just stumbled across your profile and I have to say, you really do seem like an amazing woman.  It definitely seems like we have a lot in common, especially with our love for dogs.   I would love to chat if your interested.  Feel free to hit me back.


Let’s assume for arguments sake that a man wrote this email to a woman.  And don’t worry ladies, the lessons you will find in this email example are universal to both genders.  In a little bit, I am going to transform the email example above into a highly effective message.  But first, let’s analyze some of the common email mistakes that are made in this email, and why it would never get results.


  • This email example never actually asks a question.  Always ask one question per email.


  • It makes it difficult for the reader to write back.  Without asking a question, you are placing all the work on the other person to think of something to write.  This drastically decreases your odds of a response.  In a world of short attention spans, the easier you make it for someone to respond, the more likely he or she will.


  • It is painfully boring.  There is no humor, no playfulness, and no intrigue.  Online dating is extremely competitive, and this email example does absolutely nothing to stand out.


  • The language choice comes across as lacking confidence and desperate.  I would “love” to talk sounds desperate.  “If” you are interested shows a lack of confidence that you will receive a response.


  • This email example is filled with mostly meaningless words. Declaring she is amazing, that they have a ton in common, and that he’d love to chat is pointless (not to mention looks desperate).   She already knows he is interested, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent a message.   Attention spans are short, so instead of stating the obvious, focus on making each and every word count by being interesting, unique, and revealing your best self.


  • There is a grammar mistake with the wrong variation of the word “your.”  People online notice these things and will often judge your education level based on this, regardless of whether that is fair or not.


Are there more issues with the email example above?  Sure.  As an online dating perfectionist, I could go all day, but you get the idea.  Let’s now take a look how we could transform the online dating email example above, into an email that will actually stand out from the crowd and attract someone online.

The New & Improved Online Dating Email Example

Subject:  We may have a serious problem here Jen…


It’s not enough that are you seem to have stolen all my great hobbies and qualities for your profile, but you have to go ahead and steal my legally patented, “take a picture with the guy dog idea” on top of that just to get messages?  I invented that move and had to steal that dog from a little girl at the park for that photo op.  And damn could she run fast!   Not cool Jen!  We are definitely not off to a good start… 😉


….well, then again, you do share my passion for The Walking Dead graphic novels.   I guess I could let it slide, that’s pretty awesome.   Alright first chemistry test.  Who is your favorite character and why? Go! – Tom


Let’s take a look at this difference between the original online dating email example, and the new and improved example:


  • The new email is playful, unique, engaging, and stands out from the other 100 boring emails in her inbox.


  • The subject line is used effectively to raise curiosity and interest.


  • Instead of declaring that we also love dogs, we make a playful comment that relates to our shared loved of dogs.  The message is fun, will make her smile, and probably laugh as well.


  • We tap into two commonalities, the first through a joke, the second through our love of The Walking Dead.


  • The question at the end makes it easy for her to respond, and relates to something she has a strong interest, is flirtatious, and fun.


  • The language is confident, light-hearted, and has a natural feel to it.


So there you go.  An example of an online dating email filled with mistakes, transformed into a great email that will get results.  If you’d still like some additional help aside from the online dating tips above, keep reading below and see how we can completely transform your online dating life.

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Best Professionals in the World?

Imagine if every word of your online dating emails were given the same care and had the same expertise as the example above?


Here at Next Evolution Matchmaking, my staff and I have been writing emails for clients since 2009 with unbelievable success rates.   In fact, not only have we formed many amazing relationships and drastically improved dating lives, but no client has ever requested a refund on our service.  To learn more about how an NEM professional can take over your online dating life and provide you quality matches on a daily basis, click here now.