What to Say to Women Online

The 7 Things You Should Never Say to Women Online

Not sure what to say to women online?  Learn the 7 things you should never write to women online.

By NEM Founder, Joshua Pompey

Every day of my life I log onto the dating accounts of some of the most beautiful, amazing, and successful women walking this earth.   In a perfect world, my clients would receive thoughtful, intelligent, and witty messages from guys on a daily basis.  The reality?  Most men have absolutely no clue what to say to women online.

The truth is, my clients are absolutely dying for a great guy to come along and write them an email that get’s them excited.  Unfortunately, this rarely ever happens.  Most of the emails that come their way not only generate very little interest, but completely kill any potential chance of sparking an attraction. Before you can actually learn what to say to women online in order to attract them, you need to learn what not to do.   In this article, I am going to discuss 7 things that you should never write to women online if you ever wish to get past the first email. And women, if you agree, please share this with the rest of the male dating world.

What not to say to women online #1

“You are really beautiful.”

How you think she’ll react:  “Wow, this guy is really sweet.”

Actual female reaction:  “This guy sounds desperate.”

Any variation of you are beautiful is an instant attraction killer.  Of course women want to feel beautiful, but not from a complete stranger.  When you compliment a random woman online about her looks, it shows that you are more focused on the physical than who she is as a person, or that you are overly nice, both of which, will fail to build attraction.  This is the last thing a woman wants from a complete stranger, especially in a landscape filled with countless manipulators, predators, and creeps.

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What not to say to women online #2

Any form of sexual flirtation or sexual innuendo

How you hope she’ll react:  “So what time can we hop into bed together!”

Actual female reaction:  “Does every guy online have to be such a disgusting creep.  Online dating is the absolute worst.”

Non-sexual flirting via is a good thing.  Flirting with sex as the basis is an instant attraction killer.  Unless you look like a combination of Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum, no woman is going to read your sexual suggestive comments and think, FINALLY, a man online who wants to sleep with me! So keep your mind out of the gutter, and if you play your cards right, EVENTUALLY you will have a little extra-curricular fun.

What not to say to women online #3

“So what do you like to do for fun?”

How a female would like to react:  “Oh that’s easy.  All the things I already mentioned in my profile. Did you happen to read that little section that tells all about me and what I like to do? Please go away now.”

Asking what a woman likes to do for fun is not the way to make small talk.  Read her profile and focus on a commonality that will spark her interest and make her excited to write back.

What not to say to women online #4


“Hope to hear from you.”

How you hope she will react:  “This guys seems super nice.  Let me write him back.”

Actual female reaction: “Great, yet another desperate guy.”

This is a common phrase that is often write in their emails.  Be very careful with the language you choose.  Guys that write they “hope” to hear from a woman, present the image of men who are just sitting around all alone, desperately waiting for a woman to write them back. This may not be true, but words are powerful and perception is everything.  Always use confident language.  “I’ll talk to you soon,” changes the entire perception to a man that is confident, and knows he will be written back.

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What not to say to women online #5.  

“Hey, what’s up?”

How a female will never react: “Wow you are just so charming and witty!   Not much, what are YOU up to!!!”


There are countless men every single day competing for the same women online.  Writing emails that neither show any thought, nor create any interest, will never receive a response.  If you want to learn how to attract women online and gain a woman’s interest, give them a reason to be interested.

What not to say to women online #6.  

“Hey (insert pet name)”

How a female will never react:  “Hey there back you hunka hunka meat you. What are you up to tonight my little boo bear?”


If the above seems silly, that’s what calling a woman a pet name online sounds like to them.  Any version of hey cutie, hey baby, hey sweetie, etc., is an instant delete.  Pet names are cute coming from boyfriends and husbands.  Pet names coming from strangers will have a woman’s finger racing to the delete button.

For online dating email examples and a free tutorial, click here.

What to never say to women online #7.  

“So why are you still single?”

How a sarcastic annoyed female should react:  “Because I have a bad case of chlamydia and am coming down with the shingles.  Why are you single?”


Women don’t want to answer this question, nor should they have to.  Everybody is single for a reason, but that’s not something to bring up in an email.  Get to know each other and find out over time.  Hopefully, a trip to the clinic isn’t the way you find out though!


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