Matchmaker Scams
Matchmaker Scams Exposed: Insider Reveals All
In this article, insider Joshua Pompey exposes some of the wildest matchmaker scams and horror stories that he has uncovered over the past 20 years.
My name is Joshua Pompey and for almost 20 years I’ve been helping to find people relationships. During this time period I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a whole lot of shady people, especially in the matchmaking industry.
And while I have hundreds of matchmaking horror stories I could share, today I’m going to discuss a few of the more outrageous matchmaking scams and lies I’ve uncovered over the years.
The Mic’d Up Matchmaker Scam
Several years ago I worked with a client who told me that she worked for a matchmaking agency prior to meeting me. After just a few short weeks at the agency, she felt that she had a moral obligation to quit.
For the sake of this article and her privacy, let’s just refer to her as Jane. During Janes time as a matchmaker, she was instructed to say absolutely anything to close a deal.
No matter how unrealistic the prospective clients goals were, Jane was told to provided assurances that finding perfect matches wouldn’t be a problem. “So you’re a 55 year old, overweight man, looking for a 25 year old model?” “Absolutely! No problem!” Lying to potential clients was completely expected and encouraged.
But it gets even worse. According to Jane, her bosses also made her wear a hidden earpiece while they observed from another room. As clients unknowingly shared personal details about their lives, her bosses would conduct real-time research on them—digging through social media profiles, public records, and any other available sources. They would then feed Jane carefully crafted responses designed to make her seem more knowledgeable, relatable, and emotionally in tune with the client’s needs.
What the clients believed was an authentic, organic conversation with a matchmaker who cared about them, this was actually a carefully orchestrated manipulation, tailored to exploit their vulnerabilities and build a false sense of trust. This level of deception not only invaded their privacy. but also turned what should have been an honest exchange into little more than a psychological sales trap.
Non-Disclosure Agreements
Another former client of mine shared a matchmaking scam from a “high-end agency,” where she spent close to $40,000. Yep, you read that right! $40,000!
She had spent months “working with them,” only to be set up on 3 absolutely disastrous dates. One date was still hung up on his ex and complained about child support the entire date, another spent the entire date talking about his theories on aliens, and the 3rd date was 4 inches shorter than her, while also seeking a polyamorous relationship (which was the opposite of what she asked her matchmaker for!).
Understandably furious, she asked for a refund. They refused. What followed was a grueling battle of emails, phone calls, and legal threats. Eventually, the company caved to providing half of her money back — but only on one condition: she had to sign an NDA, barring her from ever speaking publicly about her experience.
Sadly, this is far from an isolated incident. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard similar stories of matchmaking services using contracts, legal intimidation, or loopholes to avoid giving refunds to unhappy clients.
The Bait & Switch Matchmaking Scam
Many years ago way before I met my wife online, I met with a matchmaker who, for reasons I’ll never understand, decided to be brutally honest with me about the facade of her agency.
It started with me pitching her what I thought was a fun idea—I’d let her agency set me up on a date with one of her clients, and as a professional dating coach, I’d document the whole thing for a major media outlet. It would be a win-win: great exposure for them, and a firsthand experience I could share with my audience.
I expected her to jump at the idea. Instead, she hesitated. Then she said something I’ll never forget: “To be honest with you. We don’t really have the matches we promise. It wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Honestly I was stunned. Why she told me this, I have no idea! We barely even knew each other, it was only my second time talking to her. Maybe she thought I already knew the truth. But whatever the reason, it was a jaw-dropping admission especially considering what they charged and a clear admission of the scams these matchmakers are running.
The Fake Date Matchmaking Scam
Imagine paying thousands of dollars for a date? Now imagine that date was little more than a glorified actor?
I once met a woman who told me she worked for a matchmaking company that couldn’t find one of their clients a date (despite charging a small fortune for the matchmaking services). The client kept complaining about the lack of progress so they asked her, the employee, to pretend she was someone who didn’t work for the company and go on a date with him so that they could meet their quota.
She did not agree to this, but needless to say she was shocked and appalled at the levels they would go and didn’t work for them much longer. While I don’t know if this goes on all the time in matchmaking companies, it wouldn’t surprise me, as I have had many other people who’ve used matchmakers that they were suspicious of their dates not being “real dates.”
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