Sneak Preview: Course 1
Raising Your Online Attraction Score
“To dare to live alone is the greatest courage; since there are many men who would rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in the closest.” – Charles Caleb Colton
I hated her. I didn’t even know her, but I hated username Susie487. I hated everything she represented. I hated her long flowing hair. That phony little smile of hers. Those flawless blue eyes. The dimples on her face. Most of all, I hated the way her profile said she was just looking for a “nice guy with a good sense of humor.” Liar. I was a good guy. I was being nice to her. I always make my friends laugh in “real life.” If Susie487 actually meant what she wrote in her profile, she would be jumping at the chance to talk to me.
After months of being ignored by women just like Susie, I came to one conclusion; the only things women online cared about were looks and money. Nothing else made sense. I had a stable job. I was a nice guy. I had plenty of hobbies. If all they really wanted was a good guy, they would be jumping at the chance to date me. At the end of the day, it became crystal clear. No matter how great a guy I was, without looks and money, I would never get noticed.
That was my attitude back in 2007 when I first started online dating. After months of having no success whatsoever, I became absolutely convinced that no matter how much women denied it, all they cared about was how much money a guy made, or how good looking he was.
But the truth is, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I wasn’t failing at online dating because of my looks or economic status. I was failing because I had zero understanding of how to attract a woman online, or in “real life” for that matter. In fact, I was doing the complete opposite of what I should be doing, turning women off with every move I made. There was nothing fundamentally wrong with me as a person, but there was something wrong with the approach I was taking.
Once I developed a thorough understanding of how attraction works and made the right adjustments to my approach, I was able to take my dating life into the next stratosphere, consistently dating the type of women that even the best looking men in society would be envious of. Models, doctors, lawyers, actresses – you name the woman – I’d find them online and date them.
Would you like to have these types of options in your dating life? If so, your success will begin and end with your understanding of attraction, and how well you apply this knowledge to the online world. Whether you are crafting a profile, putting together a photo gallery, writing emails, sending text messages, or meeting women for dates, your knowledge of attraction will serve as the foundation of everything you do.
Attraction is Not A Choice
One of the most important lessons I could ever teach you is that attraction is not a choice. Women don’t consciously decide to feel an attraction towards you. It just happens instantly.
To put things in perspective; think about the last time you saw a beautiful, curvy woman walking down the street. Odds are you turned and did a double take when she walked by.
It’s purely instinctual.
Luckily for us men, attraction is not a choice for women either.
But it gets better. While men are mainly wired to respond to a woman’s visual appearance, women are wired to respond much more to a man’s internal qualities and personality traits.
When a woman see’s a man with certain qualities, such as ambition, confidence, and social value, just to name a few, she will instantly feel attracted to that man, the same way we instantly feel attracted to a beautiful woman walking down the street. She won’t stop to think about why, nor will she care. It is a chemical reaction that can’t be controlled.
Over the years I’ve discovered that there are many fundamental qualities that nearly all women naturally respond to, all having absolutely nothing to do with the looks a man is born with. And within these fundamental qualities, there are countless ways to demonstrate them online.
All we have to do is subtly infuse these attraction triggers into every statement we write and every picture we post online. If we do this effectively and infuse enough attraction, when women view our profiles and emails, they will feel and instant attraction that is beyond their control, regardless of the looks we were born with. It’s not magic. It’s science.
The Science of Attraction
So why exactly are men more visual than women when it comes to attraction? This can be directly attributed to evolutionary instincts that are hardwired into our D.N.A.
Throughout the evolution of mankind, the man’s role has always been to hunt and ensure the survival of the human race through pro-creation. Women with wide hips, curvy bodies, and healthy looking faces were the most likely to produce a healthy baby, so over time, man naturally developed instincts to feel attracted to these types of women the most.
To this day, nothing has changed. The world may look much different, but the fundamental purpose of a man is still to successfully produce offspring. And so, men are still hard-wired to seek out women who are curvy and conventionally beautiful. When we see women who meet these descriptions (such as the one in the picture above), we instantly feel attracted to them without even thinking about it.
For women, survival was much different. It was not dependent on a man’s beauty. It was dependent on finding a man who could protect her and her children. These were men who were strong, tall, and had alpha male characteristics. Over time, women naturally developed instincts to feel attracted to these types of men the most.
To this day, nothing has changed for women either. Women are still wired to seek out men who are protectors and alpha males, except these instincts have been adjusted to modern times. Sure, modern day protectors could be men who are over 6 feet tall with big muscles, hence, why women respond to them so much. But modern day protectors in a civilized society ARE ALSO men who are leaders in society, men who take care of themselves (groom well, fashion sense), men who have ambition, men who appreciate family, men who others enjoy being around, etc.
And so, to this day when a woman sees a man (or profile/email) that taps into certain internal qualities and personality traits, she instinctively feels attracted to him, pending he doesn’t look socially clueless and presents the image of a man who takes care of his appearance.
What Is Your Attraction Score?
Let’s assume that online dating is one massive competition, where the men with the highest scores win. Let’s also assume that 100 is the highest score. Your goal is to raise your attraction score as high as it can possibly go.
A man who is blessed with perfect looks may automatically start with a higher score, because his looks will naturally reflect some success, alpha male qualities, etc. But remember, women respond more to a man’s internal qualities than a man’s visual appearance. The more we tap into these qualities, the higher our score will go. So first and foremost, let’s take a look at the fundamental triggers of attraction that will help you to accomplish this.
The Triggers of Online Attraction
Displaying alpha male characteristics
There is no type of man more attractive than a man who appears to be an alpha male. By definition, the alpha male is the leader of the pack. This is the type of guy that men and women alike always want to be around.
They command the room with a strong presence, an air of confidence, and an ability to charm anyone in their presence. The more you carry over these qualities to your online dating life, the more successful you will be.
Whether it is through your style, your online demeanor, your ability to make a woman laugh, or your overall presence, visually, verbally, and through the written word, you need to communicate to women that you are the leader of the pack online, and everyone else is just striving for second best.
Women are naturally drawn to men with confidence. When you lack confidence, you are indirectly communicating to a woman that she can do better than you. Your goal is to portray the image of a man who knows he has something to offer and is worth chasing. Every word you write in your profile and in your emails needs to communicate confidence at all times.
Confidence also trickles into other qualities that women are naturally drawn to. Men who have a lot of social value, friends, status, and wealth, usually possess high levels of confidence as well.
This is far and away the easiest way to attract a woman online. At the end of the day, women just want to be with a man who can make them laugh and show them a good time.
Most women online are bored to tears by the emails and profiles they read. Your job is to save them from this monotony. Humor will be your best weapon for communicating that a date with you will be anything but boring or awkward.
Demonstrating social value
Social value communicates to women that you are a leader in society and that others want to be around you. This is why women are instinctively drawn to celebrities and musicians.
This doesn’t mean you have to command an audience of thousands to demonstrate social status. You just need to show that you are important to the people in your personal orbit.
Demonstrating a great social life, showcasing your passion for volunteering, making others laugh, or having the drive to work your way up in a career, are just a few of the many ways you can demonstrate social value through your writing and photographs. The more social value you demonstrate, the more women will naturally gravitate towards you as someone worth being around.
Do you appear to be the type of man who can adapt to any social situation, or someone who would be awkward and uncomfortable around her friends and family? In a nutshell, social intelligence represents your ability to function well in society and not be awkward around others. Everything from the clothes you are wearing in your pictures, to the word choice of your emails will reflect the depth of your social intelligence.
Ambition and drive
In the beginning of civilization, ambition and drive translated to a man who could go out, hunt, and provide for a woman. In modern times, hunting and providing for a woman translates to having a steady job, pursuing a new career path, and having goals.
You don’t have to swimming in cash to attract a woman. But at the minimum, you need to at least demonstrate that you will be able to take care of a woman, have goals, and at the minimum, are working towards being successful one day.
For most women, women want to know that if they date you, they won’t have to worry about you not being able to pay your bills or make ends meet at the expense of the relationship. Your drive is a direct reflection of your ability to take care of her one day.
This will create the sub-conscious feeling that you share a unique connection. The more commonalities a woman thinks she has with you, the more enhanced this feeling will be. So don’t be shy about showcasing as many hobbies and interests as you can in your profile. The more you demonstrate, the more likely you will tap into many commonalities with a high percentage of women.
This is the notion that women naturally feel more attracted to men who seem attractive to other women. For example, if you were to post a photo of yourself surrounded by beautiful women who are laughing all laughing at something you are saying, you are demonstrating pre-selection.
On the other hand, if it seems like you are the type of guy that no woman wants to be around, you are communicating that you may have some major red flags. Posting several pictures standing alone in a room may not seem like you related to this topic, but from a visual perspective, you are creating images of isolation and loneliness.
Communicating that you are a protector
Women have instinctively been attracted to protector’s since the beginning of mankind. This has always ensured women the best chance of survival, going all the way back to an era when having the brute strength of a man around was needed to ward off enemies and hunt down food.
In the modern era, there are a whole variety of ways to demonstrate you are a protector, such as, being a family man, having a dog, demonstrating that you have drive, having a stable career, being in excellent physical shape, etc.
Appearing worldly and open-minded
At the end of the day, women want to know that a life with you is going to be full of excitement and new experiences. The more you can communicate that you are someone who has a passion for life and trying new things, the more appealing a life with you will seem.
Online Attraction Killers
Perhaps the only thing more important than learning how to build attraction online, is learning how to avoid destroying attraction. One false move can destroy the entire operation. I like to refer to these as “online attraction killers.” Many of these will be covered in more depth in future courses, but here is a list of attraction killers that you need to avoid at all costs:
- Appearing too nice
- Presenting the image of a pushover
- Using language that appears desperate (I wish, I want, I need, etc.)
- Complimenting a woman’s physical appearance and beauty
- Demonstrating a lack of ambition
- Writing that is filled with grammar and spelling errors
- Trying too hard to impress
- Attempting to qualify yourself and seek a woman’s approval
- Creating the image of a player, manipulator, or playboy
- Demonstrating a lack of social awareness
- Telling a poor visual story about yourself
- Sexualizing your communications
- Presenting the image of a man who is too eager to get married
- Using self-deprecating humor
- Being overly sarcastic (Sarcastic humor does not translate well online)
- Pointing out your own flaws and shortcomings
- Stating that you look better in person
- Declarations that you will make a great partner if given the chance
Before moving on, ask yourself how many of the items on this list you may be guilty of. If you recognize any of the mistakes above, be sure to correct them immediately. If you aren’t sure, they will be covered in much more depth in future courses.
It’s Time to Raise Your Attraction Score
Suppose we took the “Average Joe” in society and wanted to make him more attractive to women online. Based purely on looks, let’s assume Average Joe starts off with an overall attraction score of 50. This is better than a zero, but in a world where women receive dozens of messages a week, it might as well be a zero, because Average Joe will not be able to compete.
So how do we get Average Joe’s online attraction score to go up? Well, we need to make him more attractive! If we take all the attraction triggers that were discussed earlier in this course, and relentlessly infuse them into every picture Joe posts, and every word he writes, his overall score will rise dramatically. Let’s begin the process of turning Joe from a 50, into a more well rounded 100 than the naturally beautiful men.
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