I Hired A Matchmaker: Here’s The Ugly Truth

My name is Joshua Pompey, and here at Next Evolution Matchmaking, it is no secret that I am very outspoken about traditional matchmakers. Why? Because over the years I’ve interacted and worked with hundreds of incredible people who were scammed by matchmakers prior to using our services.

Today we are going to share one of those stories. Below you will find the story of a client of mine who had a terrible experience of hiring a traditional matchmaking service prior to working with me. I asked her if she would be willing to share her story for others to learn from and she was happy to do so. For the sake of her privacy and due to the fact that she signed an NDA with a matchmaking company in order to receive a partial refund, we agreed to leave her name out of her story. I hope you find this informative.

I Hired A Matchmaker – My Story

As a woman in my 50s, I can’t say I didn’t have a great life for someone my age. I had a successful career, a wonderful family, and what I would consider to be a full life. I’ve never been a thrill-seeker or someone who runs triathlons, but I’ve always had plenty of interests, a great circle of friends, and family that I adore more than anything.

After dedicating many years to my career and my family, my kids were finally off to college and I found myself feeling a bit lonely. I figured it was finally time to get back out there. Becoming an empty nester and missing my kids every day was the push I needed.

I Decided To Hire A Matchmaker

Before I hired a matchmaker, I remember my first instinct was to give online dating a try since everyone seemed to be on the apps these days. I quickly realized had no clue what I was doing. It had been over 25 years since I last dated!

I remember sitting at my kitchen table on a rainy afternoon and scrolling through what seemed like endless profiles. The experience was utterly overwhelming. Each profile seemed more overwhelming than the next, and the idea of creating a profile and sending out messages seemed daunting. All I felt was anxiety about the process.

After being completely overwhelmed by these online dating apps, I started looking into matchmakers. After some baseline research (which was not nearly enough – I was fooled badly!) and my friends pushing me into it (they meant well!), I figured I’d give it a try. The idea of professional help seem like just what a clueless woman in her 50’s such as myself needed!

After researching various options, I chose a service with great reviews (on retrospect I am certain these were fake!). I was excited! During the initial consultation, the matchmaker seemed genuinely interested in me and what I was seeking in a partner. She said she had exactly what I needed and was super confident she could deliver. She was also beautiful and very charismatic which probably added to my trust. I was honestly really excited and looking forward to the future!

Is Online Dating A Good Option For Seniors? Learn More Here

The Dates Were Awful!

Months past and I wound up only being set up on barely any dates. In fact, I didn’t even get my first match until 5 weeks later! At the time I figured, that’s the price to pay for quality. She’s probably really taking this seriously. On retrospect, she probably wasn’t even looking!

Eventually I got a couple of dates. To say they were underwhelming would be generous. It was as if the matchmaker had taken my preferences and thrown them into a hat, picking names without really considering compatibility or anything we discussed.

For instance, my first match was a man who did not enjoy hiking, the beach, or even parks, while I clearly stated being outdoors is my happy place and that I feel at my best when I’m on the the fresh air. I’m also Catholic, and while I love people of all religions, I expressed that I want a partner who shares my religion. She set me up with a Jewish man. Even with that, I tried to give it a best chance.

Our conversation was awkward, as I struggled to engage with his hobbies – mostly which revolved around indoor activities, board games, and his favorite TV shows. He also had very strong opinions on how to live my life which I felt were a bit over the line. We were also speaking different languages when it came to what we valued in life, especially in regards to family. The date was a miss on every level, many of which could have been avoided if the matchmaker I hired took my preferences into account.

One particularly cringe-worthy date involved a man who showed up in cargo shorts and flip-flops for our dinner at a nice restaurant. As I sat waiting at the table, I tried to brush off my growing anxiety, telling myself that maybe there was an explanation – but there wasn’t! He was just a strange guy that had no social awareness of anything around us. He proceeded to dominate the conversation and lecture me about politics for the next hour.

I’d like to say I had one good date, but truth be told – I didn’t. After one more terrible date (4 months after I initially signed up!), I kindly tried to explain that this wasn’t what I was promised when I hired a matchmaker and reached out to express my concerns.

My Matchmaker Blamed Me

Instead of receiving the support and understanding I had hoped for when I hired a matchmaker, I was met with a dismissive attitude. She kept telling me that I needed to change my expectations, suggesting that perhaps I was being too picky or unrealistic. In some cases this would be fair, but this was far from a case of being too picky or unrealistic. These men were completely incompatible on fundamental levels.

As I continued to voice my frustrations, it became apparent that my matchmaker wasn’t interested in addressing my concerns. The lack of communication only grew, and soon I found myself feeling increasingly isolated in the process. She began dodging my calls and emails, leaving me feeling abandoned and frustrated. When I did finally get in touch with her, I got screamed at and told that “you need to evolve or you will be single forever.”

Now here’s the most embarrassing part. I spend $15,000 on this service. I had been on 3 terrible dates – so you can do the math on how much I paid to meet each of these people.

After endless fighting to get my money back they finally agreed to provide a partial refund. The catch? I had to sign an NDA (part of the reason I’m not revealing my name here!). I suspect this is common as I can’t imagine I’m the only one who has been asked to sign an NDA.

The overall lesson?

Look, mistakes happen so I won’t be too hard on myself. Should I have done more research before I hired a matchmaker? Probably. I was naive about matchmakers and didn’t realize this was such a common occurrence.

While I will never get that money back, that one thing I can say is sometimes things happen for a reason. It did lead me to Joshua and Next Evolution Matchmaking where after 7 dates, I met the man who has been my best friend an partner for 3 years now. He is kind, caring, a bit quirky like me, and most importantly, loves my kids as if they are his own. While no relationship is perfect and we occasionally have disagreements, overall our lives are filled with laughter and happiness, and we are just focused on living our best lives together.

To anyone out there who is considering hiring a matchmaker, I would strongly advise to think twice about it and although I’m biased due to my success, I can’t recommend Next Evolution Matchmaking enough. Thank you for taking the time to read my story!

Want to learn more about how we differ from traditional matchmakers?

Here at Next Evolution Matchmaking, we combine traditional matchmaking methods with online dating, for a result that actually yields results. In fact, we have a success rate of over 99% with our services! To learn more about how our process works, click here now

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