The “needy and negative energy” profile example
“I need a guy who can make me laugh, wants to try new things, doesn’t cause drama, and has goals in life. If you don’t have a steady job and are not in my desired age range, I’m sorry but please move on to the next profile.”
There is nothing wrong with wanting (or not wanting) the qualities listed above. But the manner in which this profile is written will send all the wrong signals. This profile example comes across as needy, negative, and creates the impression that the profile writer may have had bad experiences with online dating in the past.
In addition, you will never scare off the men you don’t want by declaring all the qualities you are hoping to avoid. Most of these men aren’t even reading your profile anyway or simply don’t care. But you will scare off the all good guys out there by giving off negative energy.
The New and Improved Profile Example:
New: “If you are driven, down to earth, and love to try new things, we may just be one email away from hitting it off. If you can keep me laughing on top of that, maybe we should just start planning the second date now? :)”
This revised example is more or less sending the same overall message, that she wants someone who can make her laugh, has goals, etc., but it does so in a way that is unique, playful, slightly flirtatious, and fun. Overall, the tone sounds extremely positive. These are all qualities that men are attracted to. With online dating, proper word choice and phrasing make all the difference in the world.
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Jackie
Posted at 08:18h, 10 DecemberThis is some really useful information. God I feel like such an idiot after reading this! LOL
Jess
Posted at 11:26h, 05 JanuaryI really like the advice but god this online dating stuff is so annoying!!! Are there any good men left out there?!!!!
Sammy
Posted at 09:21h, 23 JanuaryJess,
I have to be honest, I felt that way too at one point. I went on dozens of dates, or at least it felt like that and each one was worst than the last. I swear to God I was ready to switch teams. I don’t know maybe I just got lucky after overhauling some thing on my profile but I made a whole bunch of changes and started getting a much better crop of men. I mean… I was able to go on dates without having my thumb on 911 so progress right!!!!! But I will say this I met a great guy… he literally is the best thing that ever happened to me. Just keep with it things will pan out eventually!!!
Ollie
Posted at 06:37h, 10 FebruaryHaha, shouldn’t you be charging for that kind of knowledge!
Jules
Posted at 18:24h, 23 JanuaryHow about an article that shows what the real problem is. Online dating sites filled with men who think they could talk to women like they are trash.
Dahrann
Posted at 06:21h, 10 FebruaryNow we know who the selbisne one is here. Great post!
Anonymous
Posted at 05:44h, 31 MarchVery good blog article.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Coco
Posted at 11:52h, 31 MarchI’ve recently started a site, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time and work.
Anthony
Posted at 19:07h, 13 MayVery nice article. I certainly appreciate this site. Stick with it!
Barbara
Posted at 02:53h, 20 MayIt’s the little changes that produce the greatest changes.